we knew this day was coming & it did ... last night.
zoe died last night.
i just can't believe she is gone. we were all outside in the back yard - the wind was blowing & it was a beautiful night. i was taking some pictures, the boys were throwing the football, keegan on the trampoline & zoe. zoe running around with the kids being her normal full of life self. steve had stepped inside to take a call & i went in shortly after to check on some things with work. a few short minutes later, keegan comes in & says she thinks zoe is dead because she is just laying in the grass & not moving. we ran out there & sure enough, she was gone. she was just lying in the grass in her favorite spot - looked so relaxed & normal. steve checked her & could not get a pulse. i lost it. my little girl is gone - that fast. not a single indication - just gone!
steve & i took her to the vet - steve walks in & the gal at the vet saw steve & said OH NO, not ZOE! steve didn't have to say a word. the gals at the vet just LOVE zoe. in fact, when we kennel her they let her sit out front with them - she has always been everyone's favorite! the vet is almost sure that she had a heart attack. she was just in a month ago for a full check-up & he said, "this dog could not be any better health especially for her age". she had arithtis but other than that - perfect. zoe was perfect in every way.
we left her at the vet & came back home - we had NO idea what we wanted to do with her body. we had not ever really thought about it. steve would really like to bury her in the yard. however, we thought of so many issues with that: she is big, big dog, we would have to build a wood box for her, we would have to get equipment to dig deep in the yard, what about our sprinklers, pipes, do we have to get permit from the city, would animals try to get her, would she smell, when would we have time to do this, etc? we have 1 day until we leave to go to arizona. i think have decided to cremate her & have her ashes put in a urn. we don't know yet if we will bury that in the yard, or sprinkle the ashes in the yard or keegan wants us to put it on the shelf in the office with her picture. so, we're not sure yet what we will do with her ashes but we are thinking that is the direction we will go. we have to call first thing in the morning & let them know what we decided...
we wanted to bring the kids up so they could see zoe one last time. WOW - was that hard. steve & i tried to stay super strong for the kids & allow them to have closure but it was HARD. very hard. jake & keegan are very, very upset. brock is still too young. he kept saying zoe is night night. it was a rough, rough night for all of us but we got through it together.
i can't sleep. i can't stop crying. zoe was the first dog i ever knew. she was with us for almost 11 years. that is a long time. i can't imagine my day without her. she is the sweetest dog with all the spunk in the world. i am going to miss her terribly. my heart is aching. i feel so empty.
i am very grateful that she did not have any pain and that we never had to face making the decision to put her down. she literally was running around the yard & just went to her favorite spot in the grass & fell into deep sleep. i think she knew her time was short. i think she wanted to go with us with her. i think she wanted to play one last time. i think she wanted to lay in the grass with the wind blowing. i think she knew, i couldn't handle it any other way. thank you zoe!
i have so many pictures of zoe. she was our first child :)
here are pictures i took of her a couple weeks ago:
the only picture i have of her with all 4 kids. wish i had more ...
running around the yard with the kids - she hated my camera. she would never look at me when i have the camera.
this is the last picture of my sweetheart. this picture was taken of her tonight - minutes after she passed. she looks so peaceful. i'll always love you, zoe! thanks for all the wonderful memories!
17 comments:
Dredges,
I am so sorry. I know that it is very tough. I cried like a baby when Winston died. She wnet out in style. Hang in there.. time does take away the sting but she will always hold a special place in your lives.
I can barely see to type this comment. Your post definitely left me teary-eyed. But what an amazing way to go. I've never heard of a dog playing and having a wonderful time with the family and then just laying down in her favorite spot and going to sleep. Honestly that has got to give you all some peace. Like Scott said . . . hang in there!
So sorry to hear your news. Last year we have lost our 1st baby Jake (15) and then last month we lost Abby (12). It is strange how our furry babies become such an everyday part of our lives... My thoughts are with you all. ~Lisa
I'm so sorry. These losses are hard.
We are so sorry for your loss! Hang in there! We love you!!
Shelb,
I'm so sad for you. That last picture looks so peaceful. Good thing you're getting away for a while.
Oh Shelby you touched many hearts with this blog. I want to tell you that you can find comfort in that she went so peacefully. We had to take our Shar Pei to be put down after he was hit by the UPS truck. His back end was paralyzed. J.R held him in his lap as I drove to the vets. It was horrible, because only his back was paralyzed. We have ALWAYS in our 45 years of marriage had a dog. I promise you that the good memories out way the sadness, but it is always hard! So sorry...
Wow, can't believe it.
Sonya and I remember when Zoe was just a puppy up at the Logan marathon. And also when Zoe was at our last house. Or down at your place in AZ.
That is so sad.
--Brian
Wow - what a sad post. Pets are so important to all of us aren't they!? I highly recommend getting the book 'Dog Heaven' by Cynthia Rylant for your kids. It will really help (although i still get a lump in my throat when i read it and it's been several years for me!) but it truly is a comfort.
I am so sorry to hear about Zoe. I'm so sad I never got to meet her. I'm the lady from the plane that sat with your kids to SLC. I am mailing them some magnents this week, just picked them up yesterday. Hope your trip was good and you have the most beautiful family. I hope the kids are dealing well with Zoe being gone. Good luck to you too. It was great to meet you.
Oh Shelby - I am so sorry! I had no idea this weekend. She was a beautiful dog. We lost Turner & Hooch within 4 months of each other. We had them both since they were 8 weeks old and they died at the age of 12. The girls were torn up about it for a while. But now they are looking for 2 more puppies. They are afraid Buddy & Tuffy are lonely. LOL! Hang in there - it will get better. - Wendy
Shelby, I'm so very sorry for your family's loss. I first read the post last night but was unable to comment thru the tears. Snapping that last picture of her was something I would have never thought to do and it's a wonderful thing if given the chance. I don't know that I would have had the presence of mind. Now, it may occur to me when that day comes.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, as pets are family too ! I have had pets that have passed on, and yes I do believe in Doggie Heaven. As I know that my beloved dogs are happy in Heaven. Just to let you know that I have creamated my pets and one of them is in Florida with my ex-husband and my Freckles is in my hutch. I plan on her being buried with me when my time comes. I still think about my Freckles and Precious often and still miss them after 10 years being gone. They will always hold a very special place in my heart . I am very thankful to have dogs ( that I have had) in my life.
Oh, Shelby, I am so sorry. This past January I had to take our 13 yr old ShihTzu, who was dying with congestive heart failure, to the vets to be put down. The vet said I did the right thing, but it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I know how sad and empty you feel. It does get better with time. Zoe will always hold a special place in your family's heart.
Dredge fam--
I'm so sorry to hear about Zoe! I can't imagine how hard this is to deal with and stay strong for the kids! Love the fact that you snapped that last photo--you can tell she's truly at peace and has had the best possible life. Love to you guys--
Jen
I am sorry you lost a beloved member of your family.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
I'm so sorry for your loss! Losing an animal, is just as hard as losing a human friend/family member. Your animals become your family. She looks like she was a total sweetheart. SO gald she didn't suffer at all. That makes it even harder. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
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